What do you think makes up a good life?
Becoming rich?
Traveling the world?
Becoming famous?
Settling down with a house and a family?
The Harvard Study of Adult Development, a study that began in 1938, has followed hundreds of men since their teenage years giving them several surveys and health checks throughout their life to answer this juicy question. The study concluded that the most significant factor that contributed to a long, healthy, and happy life was having quality relationships. From this perspective, forming securely attached relationships with people you can rely on is one of the best investments you can make in your lifetime.
It’s not as easy as starting a family or having a big circle of friends. It’s common for feelings of loneliness to occur even if you are around people often. If you’ve experienced this, it’s likely that you are not getting certain needs met in your relationships. In these situations, you may find yourself ignoring your needs and distracting yourself with things like drinking alcohol, watching TV, and scrolling through social media. Ignoring your needs may feel like the only option you have. You believe that your true self (the self with all these feelings and needs) won’t be accepted and that you’ll be abandoned by everyone if you start speaking up. But it’s tiring holding up a mask all the time isn’t it?
Here’s the truth. Not everyone will accept your true self. That’s okay. The more you align with your true self, the more selective you will be in who you choose to deepen connections with. Having more certainty about who you do want to invest your time in is HUGE. From here, you will experience deeper and more fulfilling connections as you begin attracting others whose values align with yours and who support and inspire your growth. It’s in these relationships that you will experience a safe space to create secure attachments, the very ones that significantly increase your wellbeing and happiness.
If you’ve been silencing your true self for a while, be patient with yourself as you heal and reconnect and grow. Healthy and fulfilling relationships are more than possible for those who invest the time into discovering their sense of empowerment.
If you’re ready to dive deeper and invest in creating quality relationships, click the link below to learn more about how I can support you on your journey towards your empowered self!
Comments